The Dreaded “What Are We” Convo

I think we have all been there. That moment when you like a man so much, but you are stuck in limbo: “Are we a couple? Are we just having sex? Does he like me as much as I like him? Does he even have feelings for me?” If I had a dollar how many times I’ve heard of or been in this situation, I’d be writing from an iBook instead of a Dell. It seems as though all the men had a meeting and collectively said “Okay, we’re going make sure she knows we like her, BUT not too much! So that she’s completely confused about her life and feelings. Then we’re going string her along like a puppy until SHE brings it up.” Sounds ridiculous, I know. But it’s almost as if that is what happened.

Sometimes, even though we are strong, intelligent and powerful women, we crumble at the notion that the man we are entertaining may not be as excited about us as we are bout him. I’ve been there. But, in my opinion, we need to stop holding back. We should tell the man in our lives exactly how we feel about them. If the feeling is mutual, then we live happily ever after. If they leave, then we didn’t need them anyway and maybe Chris Evans’ long lost twin is waiting around the corner. But we will never know what our future holds for us if we do not jump in and take control.

I have definitely been afraid of having this conversation with my share of guys. I find myself thinking, “He knows I like him a lot but I don’t want to be THAT girl that brings up ‘what are we’ all the time. Maybe I gave it up too fast. Maybe he won’t buy the cow because he’s had the milk for free. Maybe we aren’t meant to be together at all. Maybe he’s my husband. Not only was I driving myself crazy, quickly realizing that I should not be afraid of asserting myself so that I can figure out my own reality, but I also realized that this dude was straight trippin’! A MAN will always let you know what he wants. A man will always go after what he desires. If you are what he desires, he will work for you and you should have NO doubt about what he wants. If he is not ready for a relationship, you should KNOW this because he is clear about it.

Now, please note we are talking about MEN! Not boys. Boys are indecisive, as they should be. They are boys.  They do not know if they want to date you, party all night, play video games or binge on *insert immature TV show* all night. You are just an option. Yes, he equates spending time with you to binge watching Game of Thrones and playing video games. Sorry, but the truth hurts. He’s a douchebag. But back to the point, decisiveness comes with maturity. Knowing exactly what you want comes with maturity. This is what we want. A mature man!

If you are afraid to have this conversation, I’m here to tell you, there is nothing to be afraid of! Be THAT girl! Because THAT girl knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to go after it. THAT girl is assertive and doesn’t want you to waste her time. THAT girl is a boss and has no time to waste on raggedy dudes who could care less about her well-being.

So I am giving you permission to be FREE and be THAT girl! Ask him, “What the HELL are we!? What are we doing!? Do you want me or nah?” Because if he freaks out, congratulations, girl! You just skipped 6 more months of his mediocre dates and unreadable emotions. Good riddance.

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Maya is the founder of and Fab Fine & Free GLAM Services. She is a mother, pizza-eater and a lover of life. She currently resides in St. Louis, MO.

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